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It is
widely reported that women suffer depression at twice the rate of
men. Apparently, more women are clinically depressed than ever
before. On the assumption that these assessments are true, the
question anyone interested in the subject -- which means anyone who
cares about any woman -- asks is, why? |
By Dennis Prager
Human Events
June 24, 2008 |
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In a recent column I offered one
explanation -- the impossibly high expectations for happiness that
feminism created for many women. |
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There are other possible
explanations. |
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One is the way in which many girls
have been raised. |
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As every wise person and wise culture
in history has known, it is impossible to attain any happiness
without conquering one's nature. This is, of course, equally true
for boys and girls, men and women. However, along with feminism
arose a belief in the superiority of female nature. One result of
this has been the suppressing of many male instincts -- both
negative and positive -- along with little or no suppression of
negative female instincts. |
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Societies and parents always knew
that it was imperative to teach boys to control two aspects of their
male nature -- their sexual desires and their predilection for
violence. So all of us decent men were taught from a young age to
touch a woman sexually only with her permission and to channel our
physical aggression into sports or into helping to fight evil by
joining a police force, or the military, or by being prepared to
physically defend innocents. Men who did not learn to control these
aspects of male nature not only became bad men, they became unhappy
men. Happiness is attainable only when we control our nature and not
when our nature controls us. |
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Societies and parents also always
knew that it was imperative to teach girls to control their natures
-- in particular their predilection to be ruled by their emotions.
Women who allowed their emotions to rule them not only became
destructive (to members of their families first and foremost), they
became unhappy women. |
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However, with the advent of
contemporary feminism and other social trends that coincided with
the rise of feminism -- among them the elevation of compassion over
standards, the great emphasis placed on feelings, the rejection of
patriarchy and the devaluation of traditional masculine virtues
(like subdued emotional expression) -- female nature came to be seen
as far less in need of discipline than male nature. |
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So, while society continued to teach
boys to control themselves, it stopped teaching girls to do so.
Girls' emotions and feelings were inherently valuable. And denying
this was attacked as sexist, if not misogynistic. |
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Consequently, the women many of these
girls grew into lacked the ability to control their natures, to
control their emotions, or their moods, and therefore lacked the
facility to engage in the self-control necessary for happiness and
the avoidance of depression. |
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Another aspect of feminism that has
probably contributed to many women's unhappiness was the rejection
of femininity. Feminism was more often the celebration of masculine
virtues (for women only, alas) than the celebration of feminine
virtues. The latter were usually dismissed as weak, passive,
underachieving or even oppressive. There are scores of examples. One
is the rejection of feminine dress -- a girl who attends class at
almost any high school or college wearing a skirt or dress is an
anomaly. Another is coarse speech. A generation ago, men refrained
from using curse words in front of women. Today many young women
curse as readily as men (I have probably seen more women than men
drivers make an obscene gesture at other drivers). Such behaviors
were inconceivable when women were expected to act feminine. And, of
course, the "liberated" female's celebration of casual sex,
throughout history associated with male nature, is the antithesis of
femininity. |
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This loss of femininity may well have
contributed to many women's depression. Though in our foolish age
femininity is often identified with weakness, it was in fact
empowering for many women, giving them a distinct power and identity
that was unavailable to men. Women are not generally happy being
largely indistinguishable from men. |
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Which brings us to yet another cause
of unhappiness among women -- the effects of all the above on men.
Women are generally happier when they have a good man in their
lives. And by "good man," I mean not only devoted and kind, but
masculine as well. Yet the prevailing egalitarian doctrines have
conspired not only to undermine femininity in women but masculinity
in many men. Just as women were supposed to forge feminine virtues,
men were supposed to relinquish masculine virtues, which have been
derided as sexist, oppressive, patriarchal and, therefore,
anachronistic. |
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However, once again, things did not
work out for many women as feminism had led them to expect they
would. The dearth of masculine men has not brought most women
happiness, but unhappiness. Those who do not believe this should
simply ask single adult women looking for a husband what their
greatest problem is with the men they meet. "They are not men," is
the single greatest lament. Not "they are not egalitarian enough" or
"not sensitive enough." |
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And women without men are not, as the
old feminist saying went, fish without bicycles. They are women
without men. |
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The 1960s ushered in The Age of
Hubris, a time of almost unprecedented levels of conceit that one
knew better than all previous generations how to order life, that
almost everything inherited from the past was just plain wrong and
outdated. For this hubris we have paid, and will continue to pay, a
steep price. And many women, untrained in subduing darker aspects of
their natures, deprived of the female joy of femininity and
increasingly deprived of men (as opposed to boys), are feeling the
brunt of these losses. They call it depression. |
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Mr. Prager hosts a nationally
syndicated radio talk show based in Los Angeles. He is the author of
four books, most recently "Happiness is a Serious Problem"
(HarperCollins). |